Chapter Text
April 13, 2024, 8:00 AM (CET)
Germany, Berlin, Regent Berlin Presidential Suite
As discussed, they went for Hyun Woo’s first consultation with the cancer centre which was interested in his case the day after they arrived in Berlin. And though the news wasn't what they had hoped for – surgery remained a distant possibility, a flicker of hope remained. As advised by the professor, they had switched Hyun Woo to radiotherapy, a treatment that, while not a cure, seemed to be holding the cancer cells at bay.
As long as the cancer cells do not spread, Baek Hyun Woo still has time. And that means he has a fighting chance.
With Hae-in by his side, Hyun Woo’s days no longer seemed as bleak though it did not mean he didn’t have any bad days. It simply meant it was easier not to spiral down to that dark place he had once been in.
Indeed, it hasn’t been easy for either of them.
For starters, the radiotherapy that Hyun Woo had to undergo brought its own set of challenges and side effects, this time more intense than the ones he experienced with chemotherapy.
His migraines came back with a vengeance, and unlike the dull throb he felt before, there were days when the pounding in his head was so relentless that he couldn’t even bring himself to open his eyes. On such days, Hae-in would sit by his side, massaging his temples to help him relax or apply a cold compress to his head until he was asleep. She often spoke in a low voice, for she was afraid to aggravate his migraine further.
He was also starting to lose hair. It started with a few strands, but there was a day he lost clumps of it in the shower. He figured that eventually, he would have to shave it all off. Hae-in had assured him he would look handsome regardless, for she always thought he could pass off as a Timothee Chalamet or a young Leonardo Dicaprio. He was sure she had been exaggerating just to make him laugh but it did work. He had been laughing a lot more since Hae-in came back into his life.
He was still forgetful – that much hasn’t changed. Just the other day, he forgot what they had eaten for dinner and hadn’t even remembered leaving the suite before their night out despite their best efforts. Though it pained Hae-in to see him grapple with those memory lapses, she didn’t make it a big deal. She accepted his forgetfulness with grace and would often chastise him for beating himself over for forgetting the little things. “Don't worry about it. I’ll be here to remind you if you forget anything anyway.” She had told him sternly. Regardless, they have started to take more photos together and they did the job of jogging his memory whenever he needed it.
But the worst moments must be the random bouts of nausea that would hit him during the different parts of the day. Because those were the times Hae-in felt the most helpless. The first time she had witnessed him hunched over the toilet bowl, his face drained of colour and contorted in pain, she could barely hold back her tears. It certainly wasn’t Hyun Woo’s best moment, and seeing her all teary-eyed as they waited for his nausea to pass made him extremely emotional. Still, he managed to smile every single time, smiling through the pain for Hae-in. And somehow, with each episode, they grew stronger together. Her hand, a constant in his, became his anchor in the stormy sea of his illness, a silent reassurance that he wasn't alone even in his worst miseries.
Just like that, they held onto the hope that there would be better days to come, just like how they held on tightly to one another.
A comforting routine had settled over Hae-in and Hyun Woo in the week since their visit to the doctor. Mornings began with him joining her for meditation sessions, a quiet ritual that soothed his anxieties and mirrored the growing sense of calm within their little haven.
Meals were a shared affair, mostly enjoyed in the comforts of their suite, with only occasional forays out for a date night (mainly because Hae-in felt more comfortable with Hyun Woo eating the meals prepared by his food nutritionist).
Hae-in’s days were dedicated to work, but her nights belonged solely to Baek Hyun Woo. And though Hyun Woo liked to think he was a man of discipline, he had been throwing caution to the wind way too often now that Hae-in had become a constant source of temptation for him. It would suffice to say neither of them could keep their hands off each other and their nights would inevitably end in a tangle of limbs and whispered affections.
Like last night…
♛♛♛
April 12, 2024, 10:00 PM (CET)
Germany, Berlin, Regent Berlin Presidential Suite
The clothes strewn haphazardly on the floor no doubt painted a scene of quiet sensuality and a promise of an intense night for the two lovers lying naked on the plush king-sized bed they had been sharing for the past few nights. They have been kissing for the past two minutes, simply savouring each other and losing themselves to the building heat of their lustful desires for one another.
Arousal mounted high between the lovers, for they both craved the closeness only the other could provide. Lips and tongues met over and over again in a heated battle as the waves of passion intensified in the room, ending with Hae-in rolling over into a lying position and pulling Hyun Woo on top of her.
Hyun Woo broke the kiss, raising himself into a kneeling position to study Hae-in, his eyes darkening with burning desire at the sultry sight of his lover lying on her back, underneath him, legs spread wide and ready for him.
“Touch me,” Hae-in whispered; the sweet vulnerability in her voice drawing him deeper into the chains of lust that had long taken hold of him.
Hyun Woo didn’t need to be told twice as he brought a hand to her womanly folds, pressing two fingers to where she was weeping for attention the most. Hae-in’s reaction was instantaneous. With a loud moan, her back arched slightly off the bed as she pressed herself closer to him in hopes of alleviating the ache between her thighs.
He drew his finger languidly along her slit, clever hands seeking the spot which would bring her unbearable pleasure before he began to rub smooth circles around Hae-in’s burning entrance.
Body writhing against the sheets, Hae-in’s lips parted in a sexy, soundless gasp as she practically trembled at his touches, her body burning and yearning for him to take her deeper into the throes of pleasure.
Then, Hae-in guided Hyun Woo to lie down facing her. Before he knew it, her hands were wrapped around his thick, long co*ck, rubbing around the highly-sensitive head that already had a droplet of arousal collecting at its tip with her thumb. He closed his eyes, savouring the feel of her silky hands working their way around his shaft in such a sinful manner that he felt he could combust at any moment under her touch.
Not one to be defeated, Hyun Woo took that chance to insert a finger into her core, drawing a lascivious moan that echoed off the walls of the suite from his lover. The single digit buried in her was soon joined by another digit as Hyun Woo slid his fingers in and out of her, each sliding thrust sending her deeper and deeper beyond the point of no return.
Reason tumbled into oblivion as Hae-in moaned without a care in the world, her breathing growing choppier as she kept a firm yet soft hold on Hyun Woo’s engorged shaft. She could feel his co*ck pulsating underneath her fingertips as she moved her hand up and down his shaft, occasionally squeezing the base and eliciting the purest shouts of pleasure from her man.
For a moment, they pleasured each other with their hands, laying side by side with their eyes locked in an emotionally intensive experience.
A thin sheen of perspiration clung to their skins as their movements became more frantic, their gasps more sporadic as the heady scent of sex lingered thickly in the air. At some point, Hyun Woo found himself gasping and moaning desperately into Hae-in’s hair, his body trembling in an effort to hold himself together.
Then, he was atop her, encircling his arms around her in a loving embrace as he rubbed the tip of his painfully erect co*ck against her drenched core.
They groaned in unison at the intense contact and with a soft nod from Hae-in, Hyun Woo slid into her, his hips rocking forward until he was buried in her to the hilt. Hands intertwined tightly between them, their knuckles turning white as Hyun Woo began to plunder into Hae-in with wild abandon, bringing them closer and closer to the pinnacle of pleasure. The wet sounds of flesh slapping against each other filled the air, along with their helpless moans as they danced towards completion together.
A few more erratic thrusts later, Hae-in let out a loud cry of release as her climax came at her in various levels of drugging ecstasy. Hyun Woo followed suit shortly after, a deep moan escaping his lips as he collapsed on top of his lover, holding her closer to him as their hearts thumped wildly in unison.
Fierce joy and yearning flared within them collectively as their eyes met in the aftermath of their passion, their breathing coming out in rapid, shallow pants as Hyun Woo slowly pulled out of Hae-in and stroked her cheek with a palm. Kissing the crown of her head gently, his hand lingered against her cheek for a beat longer as she nuzzled against him before he left her side to retrieve a towel.
After cleaning her up, the lovers spent the rest of their night enveloped in each other's embrace, their legs tangled in the sheets as they relaxed into the bed together.
♛♛♛
April 13, 2024, 8:15 AM (CET)
Germany, Berlin, Regent Berlin Presidential Suite
Back to the present…
The glow of the morning light barely flitted through the salmon-pink curtains to the bedroom when Hyun Woo stirred in their morning after. Beside him, Hae-in slept soundly, nestled under his arm. Hyun Woo couldn’t help but be captivated by the iridescent rays of sunlight that danced across her, accentuating her beautiful dips and curves.
Silently, he allowed his eyes to drink in the alluring sight of Hae-in, smiling with much fondness as he shifted the blankets that had been lost during sleep over her.
And she was quite a breathtaking vision.
Curled on her side, her face held a serene peace, each breath a gentle rise and fall of her slender shoulders. Her raven hair, a cascade of silky disarray, tumbled across her bare shoulders, one hand clutching the comforter against the soft swell of her breasts.
So lost in her beauty, the minutes slipped unnoticed by the man completely mesmerised by his lover.
He must have been staring at her for a good fifteen minutes before the present moment gently nudged him back to reality and he found himself reaching over, stroking her hair gently as he hummed softly to himself.
The touch, a familiar comfort, roused Hae-in from sleep. For a moment, she lingered, eyes closed, basking in the tender sensation of his fingers in her hair, sighing softly to herself.
Finally, she fluttered her eyes open and came face to face with a well-muscled chest and torso, the events of last night flashing through her mind.
She smiled.
"Good morning," Hyun Woo’s deeper husky morning voice sounded above her.
Meeting his eyes, and taking in his hair tousled and sleep-warmed, her smile widened. "Good morning," she replied with a sleepy yawn, "How are you feeling today?"
“My symptoms feel manageable today.” He answered, a grin playing on his lips. “No nausea, that terrible migraine is gone. Oh, and I definitely remember what we did last night.” He said the last part teasingly.
Hae-in playfully swatted at his chest, a blush creeping up her neck. "This man," she thought with amusem*nt.
Since when did Baek Hyun Woo become so playful? It was clear her influence was working, unleashing a newfound confidence within him.
Hyun Woo chuckled, the sound; a warm rumble in his chest, and Hae-in couldn't help but join in, her laughing echoing softly in their haven. She snuggled closer to him, the morning sun painting a hopeful glow across their intertwined bodies.
Looking at him, their connection sparking in the morning light, Hae-in felt a surge of hope.
Everything has been great between them. Everything has been great with him. They were both filled with so much hope for the future.
She was sure nothing could bring them down.
♛♛♛
April 13, 2024, 1:00 PM (CET)
Germany, Berlin, Regent Berlin Living Room
Oh, she had never been more wrong in her entire life.
She had only left him for one minute, one minute to use the bathroom which in any normal circ*mstances would seem fine. However, that minute would turn out to be a colossal error on her part.
He had been chatting kindly to their food nutritionist who always personally delivered their meals when she left rather hesitantly, for she always loved hearing Hyun Woo speak in English. Something about those syllables rolling smoothly off his lips made him sexier than he already was to her.
The next thing she knew, the sound of Hyun Woo's panicked shout in Korean echoed in her ears, a stark contrast to the cheerful English he had been using moments before with their food nutritionist.
Bursting back into the living room, hands still damp, she found a scene ripped straight from a nightmare.
The nutritionist stood frozen, with a mix of shock and concern on her face. Her gaze darted between Hae-in and Hyun Woo, who was huddled in the corner farthest from the stranger. He was a small ball of vulnerability, arms wrapped tightly around his knees, face buried deep within them.
In his position, only his tear-filled eyes and hair were visible. His bare toes, curled tightly against the carpet, spoke of the primal fear that had gripped him mercilessly.
"Nugu… Nuguseyo?" the haunting words, echoed in the room, a chilling whisper of a mind lost in the fog of illness. His eyes remained fixed on the food nutritionist, its depths holding nothing but sheer horror and paranoia as he trembled fearfully.
Baek Hyun Woo was utterly overwhelmed by everything. He didn’t know who this stranger was. He didn’t know where he was. And the language the woman spoke sounded so foreign to him that it scared him.
"What happened?" Hae-in's voice cracked with a fury that startled even her.
She didn’t even know why she was angry, but something about witnessing Hyun Woo scrunched up into a ball of fear sent a surge of anger coursing through her. She could feel her hands tightening into a fist at her sides, as her body shook with a mix of anger and fear.
The nutritionist stammered, "I'm not sure, mdm. I was just talking to him, and then..." She trailed off.’
How does one even begin to describe the situation?
Hae-in forced a calming breath through gritted teeth. "I understand," she choked out, her anger fading like a receding tide though her hands were still trembling by her sides. "I’m sorry. You may leave."
The click of the door shutting echoed in the sudden silence, leaving Hae-in alone with Hyun Woo.
Even then, Hyun Woo remained huddled in his corner, his hands tangled in his hair as he tugged hard, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps as he muttered under his breath.
The sight of him shattered Hae-in’s heart. This wasn't the man she had spent the morning with, filled with hope and laughter. This was raw vulnerability, a man stripped bare by his illness.
"Baek Hyun Woo," she called out, her voice firm but gentle.
No response. A frown creased her brow as she instinctively took a step towards him. But she froze when he flinched, a tremor running through his frame.
Hae-in forced herself to stay still, her mind racing and her heart fluttering uncomfortably in her chest.
Does he not recognise his name anymore? How could she reach him? What could she do to pull him out of this state?
She needed something more familiar, something he would definitely respond to.
Finally, she softened her voice to a whisper, "Hyun Woo-ah."
That seemed to do the trick and Hyun Woo finally lifted his head, his eyes unfocused at first. Then, when they landed on her, his shaking subsided slightly. Instead of being fearfully scrunched up against the wall, he almost seemed to relax though a wariness remained in his gaze which was fixed intently on her as she walked closer to him.
“Hyun Woo-ah,” Hae-in repeated, inching closer gradually.
Looking at him now, she felt like she was approaching a frightened animal, her fear a cold knot in her stomach.
Hae-in was sure she had never been this scared in her entire life.
What happened to Baek Hyun Woo?
What was going through that mind of his now? Was he hallucinating?
What had triggered this paranoia?
Common sense screamed at her to move slowly, deliberately and to not make any sudden movements that would bring them back to square one. Holding her breath, she finally sank to the floor, maintaining a safe distance yet close enough for him to see her.
There wasn’t recognition in his eyes – that was the first thing she noticed as she felt her heart plummet in her chest.
But she had to make sure.
“Do you…do you remember who I am?” Hae-in asked hesitantly, her voice barely a whisper.
Hyun Woo reacted violently. He whimpered, his eyes screwing shut as he shook his head with a vehemence that ripped at her heart. Panic flickered across his face, and with a gasp, he pushed past her, knocking her off balance.
Hae-in stumbled back, a cry escaping her lips as her wrist twisted painfully when she landed. Ignoring the sting, she pushed herself up, a strangled groan escaping her throat. Hyun Woo had already retreated by then, scrambling to the back of the couch, his eyes wide and terrified.
Grief and anger battled within Hae-in, a storm threatening to drown her. But she choked back her tears, the raw fear in Hyun Woo’s eyes a stark reminder of his vulnerability.
He needed her. She had to be here for him regardless of whether he remembered her.
He doesn’t have anyone else but her.
Holding her wrist to ease the ache temporarily, Hae-in took a deep breath as she spoke to him in a soft, singsong voice, as if to comfort a frightened child after a nightmare.
“Hyun Woo-ah, gwenchana. I’m Hae-in. Hong Hae-in.” Each word she spoke was measured, gentle. She slowly circled the couch, staying in his line of sight while giving him space.
The name, once familiar, seemed foreign on Hyun Woo’s tongue. Yet, there was a flicker of recognition when he repeated it in a hesitant whisper. “Hong Hae-in.”
"That's right," she encouraged, a fragile hope blooming within her. "But you can call me Hae-in."
He always did.
Lowering herself to the floor, she met his gaze.
"Hae-in." Hyun Woo tested the name again, a hesitant smile gracing his lips. The fear seemed to recede a little, replaced by a cautious trust.
He liked her name.
The smile on her face was bittersweet. "Yes, I'm Hae-in." She spoke, her voice soft. "Hyun Woo-ah, how are you feeling now?"
A small voice, devoid of its usual vibrancy, answered, "Tired."
Tears shone in Hae-in's eyes, blurring her vision. "Do you want to take a nap?" She asked.
Hyun Woo nodded mutely.
“Let’s get you to bed then. Hmm?” Hae-in held out her uninjured hand towards him.
Ever so slowly, Hyun Woo placed his hand in hers and she helped him to his feet. He allowed her to guide him to the bedroom, his steps hesitant as he kept his eyes trained carefully on her.
Tucking him into bed, she lingered for a moment, watching his chest rise and fall with each shallow breath. The storm within him seemed to have subsided, replaced by a quiet exhaustion. With a silent promise to be there when he woke, she closed the door softly behind her.
Heaving a sob, Hae-in slumped against the cool wood, the dam within her finally breaking. Her tears started slow, like a tap that had not been fully opened. Then, they dripped down bit by bit, quickly spiralling beyond the point of control as hot tears fell rapidly from her eyes.
By then, her small frame was shaking with the power of her sobs as they ravaged her heart, rendering her incapable of ignoring the pain that shackled her to the ground.
Defeated and helpless. That was how Hae-in was feeling now that she got a terrifying glimpse of Hyun Woo’s illness and the true weight of what could happen down the road.
This was too hard. Harder than what she had expected.
So, she cried, letting the tears stream down her face; a silent scream in the silence of the suite.
♛♛♛
April 13, 2024, 2:00 PM (CET)
Germany, Berlin, Regent Berlin Presidential Suite
Hyun Woo woke up with a groan, his head pounding and his eyes sore. He felt like a truck had run him over. Staring blankly at the ceiling, his memories sluggishly filtered back as he reminded himself to breathe through the throbbing pain in his head.
He was supposed to have lunch with Hae-in so how did he end up in bed again? And their food nutritionist, wasn’t he just talking to her? What was this gaping hole in his memory?
Then, panic clawed at him. Where was Hae-in?
Thinking about Hae-in, a sharp memory sliced through his haze – fear twisting his insides as it all came flooding back to him. The bewildered hurt in Hae-in's eyes as she reached out, the fear that had consumed him, and her cry when he had pushed her.
God, he had pushed her!
Shame washed over him in a tidal wave. It was bad enough he had forgotten her, now he had hurt her too?
A fresh wave of tears blurred his vision as he buried his face in the pillow, letting out an anguished scream that was muffled by the fabric.
Hyun Woo was unbelievably frustrated with himself.
He would fight all the greatest wars to stay for a lifetime, just to be by Hae-in’s side forevermore. But how could he fight if he couldn’t even remember the love of his life?
He had hurt her.
He had broken his promise, the one etched into his soul – to never be the reason for her tears, let alone cause her physical pain because of his foolishness.
Desperation gnawed at him. He couldn't stay. Not if he risked hurting her again. With a fierce determination fueled by guilt, Hyun Woo threw off the covers. Wiping his tears furiously with the back of his hand, he crept towards the door, every movement silent.
Opening the door slowly, Hyun Woo peeked through the crack. There Hae-in was, sat curled on the couch, her back to him, a phone pressed to her ear. Her brow was furrowed in stress, her voice a rapid stream of English as she spoke to his doctor.
"Professor Fischer, what is wrong with him?" he heard her plead. "Can he just lose his memory so suddenly?"
Hyun Woo's heart twisted. He knew the answers wouldn't be reassuring. The weight of his illness, a crushing burden, settled on him.
"Will he be able to regain them?" she continued, her voice trembling. "How long will he be like that?"
As the unanswered questions hung in the air, Hyun Woo made his agonising choice. He had to disappear, at least for now.
With a final, desperate glance at Hae-in's worried silhouette, he slipped out of the room unnoticed, leaving behind a trail of unspoken apologies and a love fierce enough to break his heart.
♛♛♛
April 13, 2024, 2:30 PM (CET)
Germany, Berlin, Regent Berlin Presidential Suite
“You have done the best you can for him, Mrs Hong. The delirium will pass, but if he doesn’t recover from it by the end of today, please bring him back to the centre.”
Professor Fischer's words echoed in Hae-in's head as she hung up the phone, the technicalities doing little to quell the storm brewing within her.
Leaning forward, hands clasped tightly in front of her, a wave of dizziness washed over her as she thought back to what had transpired that afternoon. Her gaze fell on her bandaged hand, a stark reminder of Hyun Woo's panicked episode earlier.
Taking a deep breath, she rose to check on him.
"Hyun Woo-ah," she called softly, pushing the door open a fraction. Her voice trailed off as the room greeted her with an unnerving silence.
The empty bed sent a jolt through her as she rushed to flip the covers over in hopes of finding him under them. "Baek Hyun Woo?" Her voice gained an edge of urgency.
Panic flared in her chest as she scanned the room. No rumpled sheets, no discarded clothes – nothing to suggest he had simply left for the bathroom. A cold dread settled in her stomach.
"Baek Hyun Woo!" she called out, her voice echoing down the hallway.
Desperation fueled her movements as she scoured the suite. She flung open every closet door, peered into the living room, and even checked under the beds with a pounding heart. Each empty space echoed her growing fear.
Had he gotten scared and hidden again? Where did he go?
Minutes bled into an eternity and Hae-in still hadn’t seen hair or hide of him. Nothing. He simply disappeared. Frustration and fear clawed at her throat as she cursed the suite for being so big.
This wouldn't do.
She was sure Baek Hyun Woo had left their suite somehow.
With a renewed surge of determination, Hae-in stormed down to the reception desk, her heels clicking desperately against the marbled tiles. Her frantic questions and dishevelled appearance spoke volumes as she explained the situation to the staff. The receptionist, sensing her distress, quickly offered to help, knowing that a runaway patient’s life was on the line.
Thankfully, they agreed to let her view the security footage.
Fast-forwarding through the security feed, Hae-in's breath hitched in her throat when she spotted Hyun Woo, walking across the hotel lobby and disappearing through the automatic doors.
He had indeed left the hotel.
But where was he going?
How was she supposed to find him now?
♛♛♛
Germany, Berlin, Berlin Cathedral
There are moments that the words don't reach. There is suffering too terrible to name. So you hold on as tight as you can to those memories and push away the unimaginable.
If you see a man on the street, walking by himself, talking by himself, have pity.
He is working through the unimaginable.
Hyun Woo wandered the streets of Berlin, the buildings towering over him as he walked on autopilot, drawn by an invisible force. The cobblestone streets felt rough under Hyun Woo's feet, each uneven step echoing the turmoil within him.
It’s quiet uptown – that was the first thing Hyun Woo noted down as he walked.
In fact, the bustling energy seemed muted uptown, the usual symphony of car horns and chatter replaced by a strange quiet.
The towering presence of Berlin Cathedral soon filled his vision, its copper sheen and Carrara marble gleaming in the afternoon sun. Its most striking feature – the large pale green central dome flanked by four smaller domes at each corner, each crowned with a lantern drew Hyun Woo closer to the religious space.
The Baroque-influenced Italian High Renaissance architecture, with the intricate stone carvings adorning the walls depicting religious figures and classic biblical scenes and its long Corinthian columns, greeted him. Atop the dome sat a golden cross that glistened in the sunlight, propelling him forward to seek refuge in the peaceful sanctuary.
He did just that.
With a shaky hand, he pushed open the heavy mahogany doors and he entered the cathedral to escape from reality…
…and to pray.
He had no inkling that the love of his life was currently running through the streets of Berlin in her heels, with tears brimming in her eyes as she searched desperately for him.
Indeed, Hae-in's frantic sprint echoed off the cobblestone streets of Berlin, her head turning everywhere in search of the familiar head of hair. Every passing second felt like an eternity, every pounding of her heart a frantic rhythm against her ribs.
As she rounded a corner, the sight of the Berliner Dom caused her breath to catch in her throat. Baek Hyun Woo has always been a religious man. Could it be?
Could he have gone there to pray?
Hope, a fragile flame, flickered to life within her. Without a second thought, Hae-in sprinted towards the cathedral, her high heels clicking a frantic accompaniment to her pounding heart. All that time, images of him, lost and scared, flooded her mind and she pushed herself harder, desperate to get to her man.
Minutes later, she pushed open the heavy doors, bursting into the cool, cavernous interior. The air inside hummed with a quiet reverence, a stark contrast to the panic raging within her. Her eyes darted across the rows of pews, searching for him as she panted heavily.
Panic clawed at Hae-in's throat when she found them empty of the man she was searching for. Her heart plummeted, a sickening thud that seemed to echo in the vast emptiness of the cathedral.
Had she been wrong? Was he not here after all?
Determined not to give up, she spun around, her frantic gaze landing on a tourist exiting the nave.
"Excuse me!" she called out, her voice barely a squeak. "Have you seen a man, tall, dark-haired, a little lost-looking?"
The tourist, startled by her urgency, paused and took a moment to register her question. He looked around briefly, then pointed in a general direction. "There, I think I saw him walking there.”
Hae-in didn't waste another breath. "Thank you!" she nearly shouted, her voice heavy with gratitude. With newfound hope, she raced out of the nave, the cool marble leaving a fleeting chill on her skin.
She rounded each corner of the cathedral, her lungs burning with exertion and her feet stinging from the abrasion of her heels. Tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision, but she refused to stop. Not until she finds him.
And then, there he was. A solitary figure, his back towards her, walking slowly with his hands in his pockets, down a corridor bathed in the soft afternoon light. Relief washed over her in a tidal wave, washing away the fear that had choked her for what felt like an eternity.
Hyun Woo. She found him.
Hae-in finally allowed herself to breathe, a shaky gasp escaping her lips. Before she could think twice, she was on the move, charging towards Hyun Woo. Her face, flushed from the run, mirrored the anger simmering within her.
"Baek Hyun Woo!" she scolded, her voice sharp with a mix of relief and fury. "Why would you disappear like that? Bi-cho-so (Are you crazy)?"
But Hyun Woo didn't respond. He continued walking, his head bowed, shoulders slumped. A heavy silence followed Hae-in's question, stretched thin by the rhythmic click of her heels on the stone floor.
"Baek Hyun Woo!" she called again, her voice laced with a growing urgency. This time, she picked up her pace, determined to get answers.
As she closed the distance, she reached out, placing a hand on his shoulder – a gentle touch meant to turn him around.
"Ya, Baek-" The rest of her words died on her lips, when she realised he was crying.
Hae-in felt her anger evaporate completely as concern grew on her face. Her brow furrowed as she watched the silent tears roll down Hyun Woo's cheeks.
"What's wrong?" she asked, reaching out to brush a stray tear from his cheek. "If you wanted to come here, you could have just told me. Why are you here crying alone?" Unshed tears welled in her eyes, lending a shaky edge to her words.
Instead of responding, Hyun Woo removed her hand from his cheek and took a step back, his eyes dark with grief and self-hatred.
“Baek Hyun Woo.” Hae-in tried to step forward, only for him to take three more steps back.
"Hae-in ah," he choked out, his voice a desperate whisper thick with tears and fear. He shook his head, more tears cascading down his cheeks. "Don't come near me, jebal."
Hae-in felt a pang of helplessness as he retreated further. "Baek Hyun Woo," she called out to him again, her voice strained.
But he kept shaking his head, his voice breaking, pained. "I forgot you, Hae-in. I forgot you."
The words hit her like a physical blow, a raw vulnerability laid bare.
"Gwenchana, Baek Hyun Woo," she reassured him, her voice gentle despite the tremor threatening to shatter it. "It's just your symptoms. We always knew there was a chance of that happening."
“How am I supposed to be okay with that when I hurt you?!” Hyun Woo erupted, his voice raw with rage. Tears streamed down his face rapidly as he choked out a sob, his voice cracking with each word. "I hurt you, Hae-in ah. I did that!" He pointed a trembling finger at the bandage on her hand.
Hae-in covered the bandage instinctively, her voice breaking with emotion as she shook her head firmly. “Ani, it was an accident. You didn’t mean to do it.”
"I hurt you," he repeated; his voice barely a whisper. "It's killing me to know I hurt you." He seemed to shrink into himself, a defeated posture. With a trembling hand, he turned, as if to walk away from her and the unbearable guilt.
But Hae-in wasn’t about to let him walk away.
"Ya Baek Hyun Woo!" Hae-in shouted through her tears.
With a desperate surge of determination, she sprinted after him, her legs carrying her forward until she collided with his back. She wrapped her arms tightly around his torso as he froze, his back rigid against her touch.
They were both a mess of tears now. Hae-in's voice cracked as she clung to him, her words muffled against his back.
"Don't go, jebal." Hae-in's plea echoed through the corridor, each syllable laced with heart-wrenching desperation that mirrored the raw pain etched on Hyun Woo's face.
Hyun Woo's muffled sobs vibrated through her. Every harsh intake of breath was a mirror to her terror.
Hearing her cry seemed to break the dam further within Hyun Woo. He turned slowly in her embrace, his arms coming up to hold her just as tightly in a desperate attempt to hold onto something familiar, something real.
“Hae-in ah, naega mianhae.” Hyun Woo choked against her hair, his breathing coming out in ragged gasps, his eyebrows creased in torment. “Naega mianhae.”
Hae-in pulled back slightly, her hands gripping his arms with white-knuckled ferocity. "Don't do this to me," she pleaded, though she could barely speak through her tears as she choked them out with much effort. "Don't run away from me. You have no idea how scared I was when you disappeared."
Hyun Woo shook his head, his eyes, brimming with profound sadness, met hers. "I won't be able to recognize you," he mumbled, his voice shaking with despair as his breath hitched. "I'll become a stranger.”
“I could hurt you again.” He squeezed his eyes shut, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks as he looked down. “I don’t want you to watch me forget you. I hate myself so much for putting you through that!” His voice rose, a tremor of fear and self-loathing lacing his words.
Hae-in's heart ached for him, for the fear that gnawed at him as much as it did at her. "Even if that's the case," she said softly, willing her voice to be steady as she tried to reason with him. "Don't push me away. Even if you forget, I'll be here to remind you of who I am. We can do this together. Hmm?"
Hyun Woo shook his head stubbornly, a gesture of defeat.
Hae-in mirrored the movement, her jaw set with determination as she cried. "I'll be by your side even if you don't remember me, ignore me, or..." her voice caught in her throat as she swallowed the lump in her throat, "...dislike me."
“I made a promise,” she pressed, her voice strained as the tremors coursed through her. “That I’d stay by your side…even if you had debt…or something more.” Her lips trembled as she took a sharp, shaky breath, her eyes locked tightly with his. “So, don’t worry and just let me stay by your side, jebal!” She begged him, half-shouting from frustration and fear.
"I'm terrified that I'll lose you for good!" A raw sob escaped her lips as she let it all out, her voice breaking with the intensity of her emotions as she squeezed her eyes shut.
Seeing Hae-in so lost in her despair, Hyun Woo reached out and gently brushed a tear away from her cheek. He desperately wanted to reach for comfort, to hold onto her love as a lifeline, but the fear of hurting her again held him back.
Hae-in mirrored the gesture, her hand trembling and her eyes fluttering open as she cupped his tear-stained face. "Baek Hyun Woo," Hae-in stammered, her voice barely audible, but the silent plea in her eyes spoke volumes.
He shook his head, pulling back from her completely, his tears streaming down silently to the floor.
Hae-in’s hands fell to her sides limply, as another wave of grief gripped her mercilessly. She squeezed her eyes shut, a single tear tracing a path down her cheek. The weight of his illness, the uncertainty of the future, crashed down on her, leaving her breathless and bereft.
What would become of them now?
♛♛♛
April 13, 2024, 8:00 PM (CET)
Germany, Berlin, Streets of Berlin
There are moments that the words don't reach. There's a grace too powerful to name. We push away what we can never understand and push away the unimaginable.
If you see her in the street, walking by his side, talking by his side, have pity.
She is trying to do the unimaginable.
They walked in a heavy silence, with Hae-in occasionally speaking to him in hopes of drawing a response from Hyun Woo. But alas, all she got was radio silence. Even now, as Hae-in stole glances at Hyun Woo, his face was a mask of muted grief.
“Baek Hyun Woo, do you like it uptown?” Hae-in ventured, trying to break the suffocating silence.
No response.
Hoping to spark a conversation, she pointed at a plump pigeon waddling across the sidewalk. "Look, a pigeon! They look bigger than the ones in Seoul, don't you think?" A forced chirpiness laced her voice, but it did little to pierce the barrier of his withdrawal.
Her best efforts were met with radio silence. Hyun Woo kept his gaze fixed ahead, a stoic mask hiding the storm raging within.
A frustrated sigh escaped her lips. Two could play this game.
She stopped walking abruptly, and with a theatrical gasp, she clutched her foot. "Ahhh!" she exclaimed, feigning pain. "Ouch, I think I have an abrasion!"
Hyun Woo finally stopped as he turned his head, his gaze landing on her with a hint of concern. Relief washed over Hae-in, short-lived as ever.
She exaggerated a grimace, hopping on one foot as he continued to study her silently. "It hurts so bad!"
He walked towards her slowly with a calmness that bordered on detachment. Without a word, he gently took her by the elbow, guiding her to a nearby bench.
He knelt before her, taking off her heels to study her wounds, his silence deafening. She longed to hear his familiar nagging, his playful teasing for her impractical shoe choice, for not wearing the perfectly good sneaker he got her. Anything but this heavy silence.
But none of that came. Instead, he inspected her foot, his touch once filled with warmth and tenderness, now felt clinical and detached. When all he found were blisters on her right foot, he took out a plaster from his wallet and applied it with practised ease before replacing her shoe.
He rose before she could even blink, turning to walk away from her.
Hae-in was absolutely done with his self-depreciation. "Ya Baek Hyun Woo!" she called out, her voice laced with frustration and a hint of desperation. "Enough. Stop walking, jebal. Stop walking and hear me out."
Hyun Woo stopped but remained stubbornly facing forward, refusing to meet her gaze.
Hae-in let out a shaky sigh. “Look at where we are, Baek Hyun Woo,” she pleaded, her voice soft yet firm. “Think about where we started. Yet, we are here together now.”
“You have no idea how much it hurts me to see you like this,” she confessed, her breath hitching slightly as she forced herself to speak. “I have all the power and money to shut down businesses, bend people to my will, buy anything I want in this world. Yet, I feel helpless. Because what’s the use of all of that if I can’t save the love of my life? If only I had the power to spare your life, to trade your life for mine, I would do it in a heartbeat.”
“I don’t want to pretend to know the challenges we’re facing. I know you’re hurting too,” she continued, wiping away a stray tear bravely. “I know you’re scared and you need time. But I am not afraid, Baek Hyun Woo.”
Her voice grew stronger, her gaze unwavering. “I know who I married. I know you have it in you to fight this illness. You can’t give up so easily, Baek Hyun Woo. You can’t do this to us.”
“So just let me stay here by your side. That would be enough for me. Don’t push me away. Don’t run away from me, I’m begging you. Hmm?” She ended, her voice trembling delicately like a fallen leaf.
If you see them walking in the park, long after dark, taking in the sights of the city, have pity.
They are trying to do the unimaginable.
They are standing in the park now, Hae-in by Hyun Woo’s side.
He takes her hand. “It’s quiet uptown.” He whispered, his gaze still forward but his touch gentle against hers.
Hae-in looked down at his hand, her breath catching in her throat. His touch was hesitant at first, a tentative exploration. But then, slowly, his fingers intertwined with hers, their grip firm yet comforting.
A wave of relief washed over Hae-in, warm and powerful. It wasn't a complete victory, not yet. But in that simple act, in the silent promise of his touch, she saw a flicker of hope. They continued walking together, side by side, hands intertwined tightly together walking the length of the city together.
Their future may seem uncertain, but for now, they had each other.
And that would be enough.
♛♛♛ END OF PART I ♛♛♛
